Who Needs Feminism?

I have only been interested in feminism

since January of this year.

I can't remember how I felt about it before,

to be honest.

But now

it's a basic food group

of my intellectual diet.

I recently learned that

there's a Tumblr called

Who Needs Feminism?

that has posts like this,

uploaded by real people.

There's also a Tumblr called

Women Against Feminism

that has posts like this,

uploaded by real people.

(Obviously,

I selected these examples as typical of each website,

and my selection is inherently biased by my opinions.

If interested, please visit each website

to gain a fuller understanding

of the arguments voiced by each group.)

My initial feeling

was that the Women Against Feminism contributors

are just missing something.

Some of my rebuttals to their arguments include:

-Catcalling is not as serious as rape,

but is still emotionally destructive,

and accepting it will lead to a culture

that embraces violence against women.

-Feminism is not a trend.

It's an ongoing movement

to heal centuries-old wounds

of inequality and violent hierarchies.

-Being feminine is not incompatible

with feminism.

-A patriarchy is a system in which

men hold most of the power

and women are largely excluded from it.

Even if we don't live in a de jure patriarchy,

we still live in a de facto one,

even in the United States.

But despite all my rebuttals,

I had a feeling that

these women must be somewhat right.

There are many of them.

They have some valid points to make.

What I was most struck by,

after reviewing hundreds of their comments,

is that these women don't personally feel

that they are oppressed

or that they are victims.

The men in their lives

treat them as equals,

and they are respected

and loved.

They uphold traditional values

and worry about a movement

that advocates for more liberal values,

which, if allowed to take root,

may upset the society that they hold dear

as the healthiest setting

for raising a family.

In my own life,

I don't feel that

violent male-dominance hierarchies

have affected me personally.

My parents are paragons

of equality in marriage.

I am smart.

I went to a charter school

where girls excelled at math and science

alongside their male peers.

My dating relationships

have been full of respect.

But.

I can remember

scores of times

that I have laughed at misogynistic jokes

told by my male friends.

I did this on purpose,

so that I would be seen as

a cool girl--

one who understood

and could parody

the shortcomings of her own sex

without getting whiny

or being a buzzkill

or launching into a lecture.

If we as women look at our lives,

I think we will find these instances,

no matter how much we think

we don't need feminism.

I think all women

and all men everywhere

need feminism.

We need to build respect and teamwork

if we are to succeed as humans.

But the question is

Can you make people care about something

that they don't think affects them?

Should they have to care about it?

If you want to make them care about it,

are you just as bad as what you're fighting?