Counting Down.

In January,

my best friend Ashley

told me

that she and her husband

are moving to California

when the semester ends.

And since then,

I have been washed with dread

every time I think about it.

The number of months of our lives

that Ashley and I have not lived

in the same place

is probably six.

Tops.

We don't see each other that often anymore--

maybe once every month or so,

maybe a little less.

But there's a security

that comes from knowing

she's only a few blocks away.

She'll be there when I need her.

And it's not necessarily that I need her,

but that I need the security of knowing 

that she's as close to me physically

as she is to my heart.

The likelihood of us

ever living in the same town again

is about to plummet to zero.

I know that she will be my best friend

no matter what,

no matter when.

But I still feel like

I'm wasting precious time

by not spending every minute 

of the next two months

with her

and Marshall

and Huey

and Lancelot.

I was wrong about myself.

Have you ever thought about

what particular traits you have

that make you lovable?

Maybe it's just me,

but I have a short list in my head

of things that I would like

the people who love me

to love me for.

I remember once,

there was a boy who liked me.

And I was sure

that he didn't know me well enough

to appreciate the things

on my list.

And so his crush on me made me mad.

No!

How can you think you like me

if you don't know the things about me

worth appreciating?

(Not saying

that was the best way

to view the situation.

I know

I was immature about it.)

Anyway,

I've always thought

that right at the top of my list

was my perspective.

The way I view the world.

The way I see beauty in everything.

I love that about myself.

But lately,

I realized

that I was wrong about myself.

The best thing about me,

the most important thing about me,

is 

the way 

I love people.

I can't believe I didn't see that.

via

Almost Famous.

It's been almost two months

since I moved into the Almost Famous house.

And they've been almost perfect months.

I love the quiet little street I live on.

Timpanogos looms over it 

in all her splendor.

I love the humans that live here.

Ellie makes me laugh

40% more often

than the average human.

She does everything

and does it all well.

I love when Brooke and I

meet up in the living room

and talk about boys.

I love when she practices singing.

She thinks it's annoying,

but it's not.

Emma makes the world around her

a more beautiful place.

I want to dress like her

and dream like her

and be like her.

Betsy sends the best texts

and writes the best tweets.

I love it every time

she emerges from the basement

and we have talks in the kitchen.

Kaitlin is friends with

over half of the humans in Provo.

When you meet her, you know why.

She is as kind as can be

and as crazy as can be.

It's such a blessing

that I moved in with 5 strangers

and it turned out so well.

They're just what I needed.

Almost.

Sounds Familiar.

Today, I realized

I was right all along.

The theme to 

Saved by the Bell: The College Years

and

Learn to Fly

by the Foo Fighters

do

in fact

sound like each other.

But you don't have to take my word for it.

Saved by the Bell The College Years Intro

(For some reason,

they don't have this video on Youtube.

I can't imagine why not.)

Feelings.

Let me tell you

about one of my favorite things:

talking about feelings.

It's funny,

because I used to hate it.

I literally couldn't start a sentence

with the words I feel

without feeling uncomfortable.

But I changed.

Thankfully.

I love stating my opinions

(sometimes forcefully)

and resolving disagreements with friends.

The best kind of feelings to share

are relationship feelings.

Of course.

The thought of having the loathed

"Define the Relationship" talk

fills me with excitement.

Yes!

Talking. Feelings.

Let's define this relationship.

You get to say

everything you've been wanting to say

all along.

Like

this is when I started liking you

and

this is why I like you

and just plain

I like you.

Call me crazy,

but I even love break up talks.

Everyone's feelings are valid,

even when their feelings are

I don't like you anymore.

When you're being completely honest

about your feelings

and he's being completely honest

about his feelings,

you're both being transparent.

There are no walls between you,

so you understand each other.

You become closer, almost,

as your relationship is ending.

I don't know, guys.

Maybe I am crazy.

But talking about feelings

has made me happier

than not talking about feelings

ever has.

Try it.

What a Difference a Day Made.

Presidents Day is my favorite holiday.

And here's why today was the best one

I've ever had:

Calling my mom at 7 am

to make sure she hadn't died

like she had in my dream.

(She hadn't.)

Lying in bed until 10,

listening to my 70s playlist.

Going on a run,

and getting tears in my eyes

on the way back

because it's unseasonably warm

and I'm so tired

and a good song is playing

and the mountains are beautiful.

Lunch at Zupas with Amy

and running into Megan there.

Taking so much longer to finish my food

than she does

because I'm talking so much.

Lying around all afternoon

with Amy,

learning about selfies

and teaching her about Instagram.

Going to see the angels,

and feeling so happy

that their apartment still feels like heaven.

Seeing Rachel on Presidents Day

for the first time in three years.

Watching the sunset over Utah Lake

and the snow on Mount Timpanogos.

Doing things you've never done before.

Watching Seinfeld with Justin

and laughing so hard.

Roommates returning from weekends away.

Skyping with my best friends, the Knowltons.

And, you know.

All these guys.

via

What a difference a day made.

Behind Their Backs.

A couple of years ago

something funny kept happening to me.

All the time,

people would say,

"I heard you have

a great blog,"

or,
"Someone was saying 

nice things about you."

And I'd say,

"Who?"

And they'd say,

"Oh, I don't remember."

Like, often.

Someone was spreading

nice rumors about me,

and I never figured out who it was.

I could tell you about other times

when someone told me

something unbelievably nice

that someone else had said about me.

Every time I was thrilled

and speechless

and couldn't quite believe it.

That person really

said that about me?

I can only imagine

that this happens all the time,

not just to me.

It makes me want to say

nice things about people

behind their backs.

And to their faces.

via