America's Pastime.

I have this pet peeve called

when people think baseball is boring.

I would submit

(and I'm about to say something offensive)

that there are no boring baseball games,

only boring spectators.

It takes class to be a baseball fan.

And yeah, in de facto terms,

football might be everyone's favorite.

But baseball is America's pastime--

de jure.

When I grow up, we will be a baseball watching family.

We will love the home team, whoever it is,

so we can watch the games every night.

And my babies will know to call them runs and not points,

and they'll know about

tagging up,

full counts,

and RBIs.

'Cause you just sit there and think about America.

That's why it's okay that it's 3 hours.