Waiting up.

When you decide to wait up

for your roommate to come home from her date,

you're in for the long haul.

Seriously.

So much drooling on the couch.

But it's worth it.

No girl should walk in,

starry-eyed,

from a nearly magical evening

and have to

proceed 

straight 

to 

bed.

There should be someone

drooling on the couch,

waiting to hear her dreamy sighs

and giggle with her

and watch the awe on her face

as she stares into space.

And it's nice to be that someone waiting,

who gets to take part in

the fresh excitement,

and not the tempered feelings

of the next morning.

Wedding Reception.

Going to wedding receptions

usually seems like a drag.

Maybe that's just me.

But tonight,

I went to my dear friend Matt's reception.

There were so many

old friends

to be seen.

Old jokes

to be repeated.

Old nicknames

to be called.

The new Mr. and Mrs.

danced their first dance,

and I cried.

Sure, wedding receptions are stilted.

But sometimes they remind you

that no matter how much life changes,

you always get to make new friends

and keep the old.

via

The Story of the Jam.

Once upon a time
on Mother's Day,

I wrote this post about my mom.

In it, I mentioned that my mom makes homemade jam.

...

Then what do you know?
I went to church,

where my bishop's wife, Sister Bailey,
gave me a jar of delicious homemade raspberry jam.

"I read your blog post,"

she smiled.

"And I knew I needed to bring this to you."

It was one of those things

that was so nice

that I couldn't quite wrap my head around it.

I did wonder a bit about

why she was so inspired

to bring me that jam.

There wasn't anything particularly wrong,
no secret hole in my heart
that that jam seemed to fill.

...

Then what do you know?

In the hallway at church,

I was telling some people

about the jam.

Erin said,

"I made some homemade Amish white bread yesterday.

Want to come over this afternoon for toast?"

Little did she know

that I had been wanting to be her friend

for a while,

but thought she was far too cool.

I went.

The toast and jam were amazing.

It was like living an Amish dream.

And we've been the best of friends ever since.

...

I think I know why Sister Bailey

brought me that jam.

The shirt off her back.

Check out these shoes:

Arguably the best pair I've ever owned.

When they broke,

I searched the far reaches of the internet

to find another pair,

but to no avail.

Today.

Melissa was wearing the same shoes.

I went up to compliment her on them

and she gave them to me.

Right off her own feet.

I tried to fight her,

but I was powerless.

She's just too nice.

I'm speechless.

Silvery chords.

I believe

that when this big ole world is no more,

our souls and bodies will go on livin

forever.

And we'll have nothin but time.

Then we'll have the chance

to make everyone our friends,

to say all the nice things

that we were afraid to say here,

to think all the nice things

that we weren't kind enough to think of here.

...

Sometimes you love people on earth

and it don't make sense why you do.

So you don't tell 'em.

Me,

I'm gonna take all that lovin

and hold it in my heart

until the day comes

when there ain't no walls between any of us,

only silvery chords of sociality,

drawing us to one another.

The kind that make us say,

"Set down a while,

and we'll be the kind of friends

we was meant to be."

via

Bertie & Lionel.

This is Bertie.

Better known as His Royal Highness King George VI.

This is his dear friend Lionel, his speech therapist.

They weren't always dear friends.

Bertie gave up on Lionel

over and over again.

But every time Bertie came back,

Lionel was ready.

He was ready,

because he had already forgiven.

Even before Bertie said I'm sorry.

But he did say it.

They both did.

Today, I loved their example of friendship.

...

For when we were yet without strength,

in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

But God commendeth his love toward us,

in that, while we were yet sinners,

Christ died for us.

Romans 5: 6, 8

Tamed.

Once upon a time,

the little prince met a fox.

The fox needed to be tamed.

Tamed means to create ties.

"For me you're only a little boy

just like a hundred thousand other little boys,"

the fox said.

"And I have no need of you.

And you have no need of me, either.

For you I'm only a fox

like a hundred thousand other foxes.

But if you tame me,

we'll need each other.

You'll be the only boy in the world for me.

I'll be the only fox in the world for you....

If you tame me,

my life will be filled with sunshine.

I'll know the sound of footsteps

that will be different from all the rest....

And then, look!

You see the wheat fields over there?

I don't eat bread.

For me wheat is of no use whatever.

Wheat fields say nothing to me.

Which is sad.

But you have hair the color of gold.

So it will be wonderful, once you've tamed me!

The wheat, which is golden, will remind me of you.

And I'll love the sound of the wind in the wheat..."

So the little prince tamed the fox.

It took a long time.

But one day he had to leave,

and the fox cried.

"It's your own fault.

I never wanted to do you any harm,

but you insisted that I tame you..."

In the mind of the little prince,

the fox was weeping for nothing.

"I get something,"

said the fox, correcting him,

"because of the color of the wheat."

...

Last week, I wrote a post

about how frustrating it can be

to meet new people.

But I don't want to live my life

without the wheat meaning anything to me.

Taming takes a long time--

a little each day.

So I have to be patient.

Even when your friends leave you,

and you cry,

it's worth it.

Because you are the only little boy for them,

and they are the only fox for you.

The day a maiden marries.

As an old friend of the family,

I had to ask as soon as I got back:

Who cried the most at the wedding?

Today was Ashley's wedding.

And I definitely cried most.

We've been through it all together.

This was the biggest day yet.

Oh no!

You are dear Miss Hollingshaus no more.

You are dear Mrs. Merrill now!

And how happy this must make you.

Such happiness this brings to all of us.

Meeting people is easy.

Meeting people is stupid and hard.

First, you have to start.

And that's a battle on its own.

Should I go up to someone?

Should I not?

Then, you have to find something to talk about.

You have nowhere to start,

so you just end up reciting your resume.

This is where I'm from.

This is what I'm studying.

This is what I like to do.

What's the point in talking about that?

Sure, what I like to do describes me,

but it's not me.

People are more than the sum of their opinions

about bowling and Chinese food.

Maybe I could try being transparent:

(That usually works well for me.)

Hi.

I just thought maybe

I'd come up and meet you

so that we could be friends.

Now that you've moved in,

you live near me.

So I'd like for you to be in my life, maybe,

and I will appreciate

all the things about you

worth appreciating.

Is that okay?

Silly me.

Wanting to make friends

without paying the price.

We love you more than ice cream cakes.

Sometimes at night

when I want my roommate Genevieve

 to come home from the library,

I listen to this.

And last night,

right after I played it,

she walked in.

All the days ever after.

My lifelong best friend is engaged!

I honored her on my blog once before,

but once isn't enough.

When I found out she was engaged, I was so excited 

that I cried.

And then, in her honor,

I ate cereal out of a mug.

That's what she'd do at a time like that.

Of course I was thrown into nostalgia.

Because when you're a little kid,

and you have a friend who always wants to be the dog

when you play pretend,

who can draw better than any kid your age should be able to,

who rocks the 90s with a bowl cut,

and when you're older

and you've got a friend who teaches you what ravenous means,

who reads The Outsiders in one day,

whose French name is Fabienne,

who has a Chris Brown birthday cake,

who's the classiest girl at Prom,

who goes to college with you,

and always does the dishes,

and is the only girl on BYU campus to wear Timbs,

you don't know how life is going to turn out 

for this wonderful girl.

The day that the smartest guy in the world 

will propose to her

seems so far in the future.

But one day you wake up and that day is here.

And you realize,

that guy will be by her side for the rest of her life

and their children will be beautiful

and lucky.

This is what loving someone for her whole life

is like.

Angels round about you

I recently spent seven days in a row with a bunch of angels.

We made it through a tsunami

and ended up at a bar.

We learned what it means to be a diva.

We went to Dragon Land and back.

We shot the sheriff, rode mustangs,

and got thrown in jail.

We saved Metro City.

We ate free pie and rode round roundabouts

again and again

while talk in "Russian accent."

So many good day--

in the plural.

Two most attractive apartments in the world.
Minus Katie & Ian.

Ultimate Irony.

Once upon a time,

two of my very best friends got engaged

to each other!

And I got to be there!

But the ultimate irony of my life?

I was standing five feet away when it happened

with my back turned,

talking about waterfalls,

and I missed it!

Literally, I had no idea it was happening

until it was already over.

Alanis should probably write another verse to her song.

Congratulations Lizzie & Clark!

I love you!

This girl had a little lamb.

This is Mary.

She's my roommate.

She's wealthy.

She can save your durn life faster than you can say,

"What's it to ya?"

That's cause she's a nurse like these classy ladies.

She gets all her wisdom from Dolly.

Like, "It doesn't mean a thing if you ain't got love."

After all, Dolly makes the world go round.

She's a calling-zilla.

But that's probably just because she does everything better than everyone else.

She makes a mean calzone.

And she wages war on trans fat.

I love 'er because she gives me banana bread to foster inner peace.

And because she loves this:

She leaves me speechless, quite speechless I tell you, and I haven't stopped talking of it since!

Twenty-One Guns.

Yesterday, I turned 21.

The phrase

one year older and wiser, too.

is actually true in this instance.

This was me two years ago:

-Turning 19.

-Just figuring out how to succeed in college.

-Grasping at straws.

-Longest hair of my life.

-Learning to accept constructive criticism.

-Coming close to being in love.

-Experiencing major self-doubt.

This was me one year ago:

-Turning 20.

-Wearing a diva hat.

-Languishing in timidity.

-Trying to increase in charity.

-Worring about the future.

-Making new friends.

-Staring a blog.

-Experiencing major self-doubt.

This was me yesterday:

-Turning 21.

-Experiencing love to consume my flesh.

-Unsure about the future.

-Relishing in the present.

-Realizing people > school.

-Gaining opportunities at work.

-Experiencing minor self-doubt.

It's not that I'm perfect now,

but I can really see how I've grown in the last 365 days.

I find this comparison illustrative:

My 20th birthday was on Monday night,

and we had FHE at the bishop's house.

Someone told him it was my birthday,

and his wife made cake.

There were a few FHE groups there,

but I only knew my roommates.

Everyone there sang to me,

and it was questionable whether some of the people

would know what name to fill into the song.

On my 21st birthday, I had a party,

and approximately 70 people stopped by.

SEVENTY.

I told my roommate that last year, I only had like 10 friends.

So now I have 7x more friends.

And next year, I'll have 70 x 7 

:)

For-e-ver.

You know those friends that you want to kiss and hug forever?

The ones whose backs you want to pat,

and whose hands you want to hold.

The ones you want to make cakes for,

write love notes to,

and send texts to that say,

"I'm grateful for you!"

I have quite a few friends like that.

Sometimes I think they must get tired of me saying I love them,

weary of me not having anything else to say.

But then I realized today:

Real love never gets old,

'cause it lasts forever.

That's relieving.

"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever."

Moroni 7:47