An Exercise in Becoming Soft.

When you give

your whole heart

to something,

as we are supposed to,

there is

a great danger.

Because if it's not true

or not real,

or it ends up not being good,

you are out one heart.

The only heart you have.

So sometimes,

without even trying,

you open your hand

and let go of that thing.

And your heart goes cold

and calcifies.

But life is actually,

at its core,

an exercise in becoming soft,

no matter how many times

your guts and your soul

are mashed against a rock.

I picture it as

a rough granite slab

next to a turbulent sea

spraying brackish water.

There are moments

when you're almost consumed

by how empty you feel,

and then,

strangely,

you feel your heart stir.

It's not stirring to say,

Everything is all right.

or

Don't worry. Have peace.

It's just saying,

I'm still here.

I haven't yet turned to stone.

And the brave thing

is to listen to that stirring

and to try

to love that thing

even though

it could break

at any moment.

Some days,

that's all the faith you have,

and that's all the faith you need.